Tuesday, December 21, 2010

I've been sparkled on!

I have no idea what I want to do until she tells me. She just told me to blog. In any event, if you have not seen the latest Christmas offering here it is, which by the way was disputed by You Tube, for what reason we don't know. I am very thankful I don't have to do Christmas again for another year. And after you look at this sparkling offering you will be well aware of why they disputed it. Only deranged people will wear black sparkling outfits at Christmas time. She kept asking me to shut up and sparkle. That's was all that was required of me. Tra la.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Another Christmas bites the dust

Love comes in many colors. And if you live in the southwest when you bite the dust, you bite the dust. Well, Merry Christmas folks, because I am pretty sure that Santa and his Claus will not be coming around this year. No fireplace or chimney. Although in our apartment complex we have plenty of fat guys.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

More Christmas Karaoke in spite of death threats

Once more, dear friends and acquaintences, and those guys out there who keep giving me those death threats, my accomplice who used to be my secretary who has now worked her way up to serious death threats, I just want you all to know that regardless or irregardless those words mean the same thing..look it up, just like flammable and inflammable, my compatriot here thinks that I use words that are more than two syllables, and for that I will not apologize. Altough I will apologize for my risque behavior on some of the Christmas or Xmas karaoke jokey tour which will vindicate me since tonight is the big night where I shall rake my beard off. I do not say scrape, as I am getting uglier every day. I don't need any help. As my female companion would say, you look uglier than usual. Now the nice part about this is that she has no idea what the hell I am going to say next. I also have no idea what the hell she is going to write down. So it's kind of a fifty fifty flip. As much as I care about this blog, I am sorry, I care more about her computer abilities and to tell me what I said when I didn't really say it. She says I can't remember. She just added that on her own. See what I mean. I have one of the world's worst secretaries, companions, and singing partners. So I have to put up with all of it. Is the end in sight? She asked that. He has dozed off into a drunken stupor so I am going to have to finish this blog for him. Yes, I don't know how to get him off the floor. Shut up! He is getting carried away, reading my thoughts but he is close. Finis.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

CW Xmas, gotta just love it!

Well, it's happened again. My favorite elf forced me to sing or should I say try to figure out a melody of songs I have never heard. For you of faint heart I would advise you not to check out my karaoke You Tube. But, just in case I have piqued your interest and you love CW please forgive us for we know not what we do.
My elf hates me because she claims I filmed her thunders thighs on purpose. Right. She thinks nobody knows she has them, and she thinks she doesn't have them, but the camera does not lie. I hate my beard and I am going to shave it off tomorrow.
We happen to be watching the ZZ Top concert from Austin, Texas, and there is no way I am going to grow that long of beard without being paid a million dollars.
And for you fokes who have never been to Texas you don't know why the state motto is 'Dont mess with Texas!' I have been to Texas and I survived. Unfortunately my elf has only seen Texas from a grayhound bus, so she didn't get all messed up in Texas.

Karaoke: its hokey Xmas with my favorite elf

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Christmas beards look better on Santa Claus

Once again, as has happened so many times in the past, my dear secretary has threatend to slap the crap out of me if I don't shape up. Since the beard I have been growing for Christmas is beginning to look so atrocious (check karaoke Xmas video)I can't stand myself. I feel like I am Gabby Hayes's grandson or a member of the ZZ Top group. Now I know there are people usually males that think a beard equates with masculinity, and I believe it does. The simple reason is if I meet a woman and she has a beard and she is not in a sideshow at the circus I am pretty sure I am in the wrong saloon. Now getting back to the main subject will I shape up or ship out? If you can stand it and I can stand it, there will be another Xmas karaoke video for my old geezers channel. After all I am the singer of the two of us. She can do bad karaoke better than I can. Her choice of songs matches my beard. Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer would never play on my channel. The name of the next Xmas song is Put the lights up on the trailer, honey, Grandma's froze on the swing outside. I just made that up.
And that is my thought for the day. I used to be brilliant. As you can see my candle has been burnt at both ends.

Monday, December 6, 2010

After much coercion, I am ready to take dictation

I decided I wanted to blog but my secretary wouldn't cooperate. Over a period of time, I have supposedly been able to type messages that I have dictated unbeknownst to me and not read. I have been maligning my own character. If any of you old geezers network crowd have ever seen on You Tube what my secretary has done to me then you know defamation of character is a real term. As much as I love her, I don't try to control her, plus the fact that she is hard of hearing and will not go to the hearing clinic, plus I never read what she has written, there may be a lot of discrepancies in my dictation.
My secretary just told me that she been trying to help me out as much as she can. Of course the reason is, as she aptly put it, "you need all the help you can get!" And with that, dear reader, I bid you fond adieu for today, but beware of tomorrow.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Geezer Alert: female hotties hot to trot

Geezers and you know who you are have to be aware when the weather gets extremely hot, it makes no difference where you live, female hotties will want to trot. Males on the other hand who have probably been working in the heat aren't usually that excited about hotting to trot. Correct me if I am wrong. So don't let the hot weather run your personal life.

Friday, July 2, 2010

Trying to make her look good

I can't help it if Connie got me this cover on Esquire. She is probably jealous of that, too. Heh heh

Friday, June 25, 2010

I just stepped in from steppin' out on you: karaoke loser

This is my blog, right? She has been blogging on me a lot. (I have not) I never read my blog. But I believe I have been blogged on big time.

I think Connie had something to do with me being a HOT issue this week. Unfortunately I am not hot too trot. I wish I was. All I have left are lies.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Is there life after karaoke?

Folks, I want you to know, all two of you, that I no longer care nor do I even think about or even come close to sanity. I want to alert you that if you are over seventy and drink as much as I do, alcohol is not good for you. In the near future you will see why. While I was in a cosmic haze a certain woman who will remain nameless convinced me that I needed and she needed more karaoke in her life. Again alcohol is not good for your brain because I agreed to buy 100 more country classics, Milk Cow Blues among them she just had to have, and 100 Christmas songs!! She lost Grandma got run over by a reindeer and that is one of her favorites. She wants to start practicing for Christmas. So beware of all people who love karaoke out there, don't drink in front of them, or they will get you.
I also want you people who read this to look up the word bamboozle, it is in the dictionary. Again, beware it's coming... Video to follow I am making. In the meantime take a gander at this David Allen Coe song we filmed last Christmas I just keep trying to sing.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

The old geezer accused of racial profiling etc is now defunct

Unbeknownst , I was accused of or allegations were made toward me that I was racial profiling when instead I was discriminating against those who consider themselves non geezers. Therefore I will not continue to be an old geezer. So geezers come in all ages, all sizes, all races, and ......you will know when someone says to you "Sheesh, you are acting like an old geezer!"

Monday, March 15, 2010

Doc is wrecked by his own pessimism, is there any hope?

Doc's hatchet is a bad omen, don't you think? Gerry continues to have hope. You can't change her. --Rick

Friday, March 12, 2010

Gerry does a hatchet job on Doc

Doc's cryptic saying on his drawing of a hatchet in header photo is "No winner, no loser, no shiit!" What this means we don't know, but it is typical of the master--Rick

Monday, February 1, 2010

Doc's troubles with the old GF who wants to clean his bathroom

What can you expect of an old geezer who spent 10 years on the street? I thought a drawing of one of his street friends would be appropriate here. -Rick