Tuesday, December 21, 2010

I've been sparkled on!

I have no idea what I want to do until she tells me. She just told me to blog. In any event, if you have not seen the latest Christmas offering here it is, which by the way was disputed by You Tube, for what reason we don't know. I am very thankful I don't have to do Christmas again for another year. And after you look at this sparkling offering you will be well aware of why they disputed it. Only deranged people will wear black sparkling outfits at Christmas time. She kept asking me to shut up and sparkle. That's was all that was required of me. Tra la.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Another Christmas bites the dust

Love comes in many colors. And if you live in the southwest when you bite the dust, you bite the dust. Well, Merry Christmas folks, because I am pretty sure that Santa and his Claus will not be coming around this year. No fireplace or chimney. Although in our apartment complex we have plenty of fat guys.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

More Christmas Karaoke in spite of death threats

Once more, dear friends and acquaintences, and those guys out there who keep giving me those death threats, my accomplice who used to be my secretary who has now worked her way up to serious death threats, I just want you all to know that regardless or irregardless those words mean the same thing..look it up, just like flammable and inflammable, my compatriot here thinks that I use words that are more than two syllables, and for that I will not apologize. Altough I will apologize for my risque behavior on some of the Christmas or Xmas karaoke jokey tour which will vindicate me since tonight is the big night where I shall rake my beard off. I do not say scrape, as I am getting uglier every day. I don't need any help. As my female companion would say, you look uglier than usual. Now the nice part about this is that she has no idea what the hell I am going to say next. I also have no idea what the hell she is going to write down. So it's kind of a fifty fifty flip. As much as I care about this blog, I am sorry, I care more about her computer abilities and to tell me what I said when I didn't really say it. She says I can't remember. She just added that on her own. See what I mean. I have one of the world's worst secretaries, companions, and singing partners. So I have to put up with all of it. Is the end in sight? She asked that. He has dozed off into a drunken stupor so I am going to have to finish this blog for him. Yes, I don't know how to get him off the floor. Shut up! He is getting carried away, reading my thoughts but he is close. Finis.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

CW Xmas, gotta just love it!

Well, it's happened again. My favorite elf forced me to sing or should I say try to figure out a melody of songs I have never heard. For you of faint heart I would advise you not to check out my karaoke You Tube. But, just in case I have piqued your interest and you love CW please forgive us for we know not what we do.
My elf hates me because she claims I filmed her thunders thighs on purpose. Right. She thinks nobody knows she has them, and she thinks she doesn't have them, but the camera does not lie. I hate my beard and I am going to shave it off tomorrow.
We happen to be watching the ZZ Top concert from Austin, Texas, and there is no way I am going to grow that long of beard without being paid a million dollars.
And for you fokes who have never been to Texas you don't know why the state motto is 'Dont mess with Texas!' I have been to Texas and I survived. Unfortunately my elf has only seen Texas from a grayhound bus, so she didn't get all messed up in Texas.

Karaoke: its hokey Xmas with my favorite elf

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Christmas beards look better on Santa Claus

Once again, as has happened so many times in the past, my dear secretary has threatend to slap the crap out of me if I don't shape up. Since the beard I have been growing for Christmas is beginning to look so atrocious (check karaoke Xmas video)I can't stand myself. I feel like I am Gabby Hayes's grandson or a member of the ZZ Top group. Now I know there are people usually males that think a beard equates with masculinity, and I believe it does. The simple reason is if I meet a woman and she has a beard and she is not in a sideshow at the circus I am pretty sure I am in the wrong saloon. Now getting back to the main subject will I shape up or ship out? If you can stand it and I can stand it, there will be another Xmas karaoke video for my old geezers channel. After all I am the singer of the two of us. She can do bad karaoke better than I can. Her choice of songs matches my beard. Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer would never play on my channel. The name of the next Xmas song is Put the lights up on the trailer, honey, Grandma's froze on the swing outside. I just made that up.
And that is my thought for the day. I used to be brilliant. As you can see my candle has been burnt at both ends.

Monday, December 6, 2010

After much coercion, I am ready to take dictation

I decided I wanted to blog but my secretary wouldn't cooperate. Over a period of time, I have supposedly been able to type messages that I have dictated unbeknownst to me and not read. I have been maligning my own character. If any of you old geezers network crowd have ever seen on You Tube what my secretary has done to me then you know defamation of character is a real term. As much as I love her, I don't try to control her, plus the fact that she is hard of hearing and will not go to the hearing clinic, plus I never read what she has written, there may be a lot of discrepancies in my dictation.
My secretary just told me that she been trying to help me out as much as she can. Of course the reason is, as she aptly put it, "you need all the help you can get!" And with that, dear reader, I bid you fond adieu for today, but beware of tomorrow.