CW Xmas, gotta just love it!

Well, it's happened again. My favorite elf forced me to sing or should I say try to figure out a melody of songs I have never heard. For you of faint heart I would advise you not to check out my karaoke You Tube. But, just in case I have piqued your interest and you love CW please forgive us for we know not what we do.
My elf hates me because she claims I filmed her thunders thighs on purpose. Right. She thinks nobody knows she has them, and she thinks she doesn't have them, but the camera does not lie. I hate my beard and I am going to shave it off tomorrow.
We happen to be watching the ZZ Top concert from Austin, Texas, and there is no way I am going to grow that long of beard without being paid a million dollars.
And for you fokes who have never been to Texas you don't know why the state motto is 'Dont mess with Texas!' I have been to Texas and I survived. Unfortunately my elf has only seen Texas from a grayhound bus, so she didn't get all messed up in Texas.